Hello Dearies!
It has been an exhausting, enjoyable week down at Bible Bee Nationals, but today I'm going to pretend like we haven't been talking about that all. week. long. and do a regular old Classy on Sunday.
Ever since I figured out how to gracefully style this edwardian style skirt of mine, it has regained it's old position in my wardrobe. It used to be such an awkward garment for me, but once I decided to make it work, rather than throwing it out, I have actually begun to find different ways to style it, today's outfit being one of them.
This compass necklace reminds me of my spiritual journey as of late. Normally I don't talk about this sort of stuff on the blog, but I think today's post is the right place to put this up.
Even though I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, I always have had questions. Why should I love God? Why would He save me? What is my purpose on this earth? I knew the theology and the rhetoric, but in my heart of hearts I still didn't understand. I knew that I was saved, and yet I felt that I wasn't truly living as I ought to as a Christian.
One night, as I was reading a theological book on culture, it all clicked. When God created the earth, he declared it good, but he created man to create and make it even better for His glory. But when man fell, that God-given creative instinct fell too, and everything that man makes and does, though God can use it for His will, is self centered. But this is what man's life looks like without Christ. Christ came to save us because we were fallen. He redeemed us so that we could truly fulfill our creative purpose: creating in, living in, worshipping, and glorifying Him, and Him alone. Though man might think he follows all of God's commandments, yet just because we are proud and rebellious we are sinning against our Lord. This was, and is, my sin. I may not be seen as an outward rebel, but inside I am.
I thought I was doing everything right. What sins did I have to confess? Sure, maybe I had spoken ill to my sisters a few times, so I'll repent of that, but there must be something I am not seeing. There was. I was living for my own selfish desires, even though I was a Christian. I was proud, so proud I didn't even see it. I wasn't valuing God's word as I should have, I wasn't valuing prayer either. I wasn't interested in respecting God, because I had lost the vision. I still knew that I was a sinner and that I was a debtor saved by grace, but I was blinding myself with my own selfish pride.
God, in His mercy, opened my eyes. He answered my prayer to see what I could not see. To shed light on my darkest sins. To show me what I was made for. To show me why I must love Him. To show me Who He Is, and why He saved me. I didn't deserve any of this. I didn't deserve to grow up in a Christian home, calling Christ my Lord all my life, being forgiven of my sins, and yet taking it all for granted. I didn't deserve it! I didn't deserve to be gently shown my sin. God could have just let me fall headfirst into a miry pit. And yet, Christ, His will is so perfect and beautiful, did save me. He loves me. He is my all in all. And to God alone be the glory.
He guided me home when I was straying out at sea. He guided me home to Him. And home is where I will stay.
Lace Top & Sweater : Thrifted // Skirt: Me-made // Fedora: Gift
Shoes: Thrifted // Compass Necklace: A Pocket of Whimsy
Has God revealed anything new to you lately?
What do you think of my outfit?
How has your week been?
Blessings in our dear Lord and Savior,
Brigid
the Middle Sister and Singer
CREDITS // Author: Brigid Boyer; Photography: Charlotte Boyer; Photos edited with VSCO Presets
Beautiful outfit-and thoughts!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes! God has been teaching/reminding me that He allows trials, tribulations and the bad days to happen. I've been reading in Job and thinking about how Job was considered a righteous man of God (according to the Father Himself), yet He allowed Satan to have a season of testing Job. It was how Job reacted that mattered, if He'd cursed God, as his wife suggested! It would be a very different story. As is, even the godly are placed in trials.
Natasha
A modest fashion blog: www.natashaatkerson.blogspot.com
Firstly, I just love this outfit Brigid! I had actually been waiting to see it in better detail since seeing snippets of it through 'the line-up' of the other girls' COS posts. :)
ReplyDeleteThe colors are so nice and warm for this fall season; nice antique flair! The skirt looks so profesh by the way! :)
On your spiritual side of this post- I know that many from our little online 'community' think along these line, as you did, including myself, about salvation and sin. A large part of it is, I think, that we don't have a real understanding of what sin really is or could be all the time because we have never been in that dark spot ourselves. We just know of other's 'great' redemption stories. Like you said, we live our little lives in our blessed Christian families and most of us never truly vear away because that is all we have known and we believe it to be true. But there is the side effect that we may not have the same appreciation OF our salvation because we were never in a truly deep dark part of our lives. And it can be hard to balance being high and mighty along with our self-serving human nature.
Thanks for sharing that dear!
Cassie
Yes, absolutely! At least for me, salvation was not a moment of profound joy, with tears streaming down my face from the sheer wonder of it, as grace appears those who have been rescued from the blackest night...
DeleteBut on the other hand, we are not different at all! We just thought we were. Our sin IS black. My selfishness, my very blindness to my own sin, my resistance to full repentance separates me from a perfect God; it is my sins that are heaped on Jesus' back, just as if I was one of the ones looking on and approving.
I have been asking God to show me just how much it cost Jesus to die on that day. And to show me how in need of grace I am. I am 20 years old and it is just beginning to sink it, slowly. No, I did not have such an appreciation of salvation at age 12. Now, I am beginning to see, because we live in a dark world, and I was in a darker place than perhaps I realized. And I am beginning to truly see how the grace of God is SO AMAZING!!!!
So I think we who grow up in the church CAN have the same appreciation of our salvation; in fact, I think we OUGHT to! At least, this will remain my prayer: that I will be in constant AWE of grace, bursting with the profound joy or salvation, one day with tears streaming down my face from the sheer wonder of it!!
The outfit's very lovely. In fact, that wrap sweater reminds me of an outfit in the MET museum... http://bit.ly/1zpi8GI
ReplyDeleteAnd I love the soft brownish colours.
Brigid, thank you so much for sharing some of your spiritual life with us. I have been having very similar struggles, and I too have come to see that I am so proud that I can''t even recognize all the ways in which I am proud! But we must continually turn to God and seek His aid and His grace and His mercy.
ReplyDeleteIt's encouraging to know that we are not alone, but that others are traveling the same seas with us. :)
Oh! How easy it is to fall into the sin of pride and selfishness! This indeed is a battle that you are not alone in fighting, Brigid! Recently, I have come to see how selfish I so frequently am. It's nasty and heartbreaking...
ReplyDeleteI do like your outfit exceedingly...though personally, I could not wear that particular look. :)
This outfit is REALLY cute. And I love the shoes!
ReplyDeletePerfect outfit for Autumn! And the Lord is faithful, conforming us to his image!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing a bit of your spiritual journey with us! I think many of us have struggled with the same thing. But thanks be to God, we can struggle with sin and doubt and questions (indeed, we should; we MUST!!) and come out of it with a better testimony for having wrestled and overcome--or at least better able to share our own story.
ReplyDeleteIt's a misnomer that we who grow up in the church just accept blindly what our parents teach us. We wrestle with many of the same questions, I think, as those who did not. And for me, it often was a bitter, lonely struggle, but made beautiful by the saving grace of God. Thank you, Lord!
I think you look elegant, right out of Downton Abby.
ReplyDelete