Hello and a good day to you, dearies! Today is going to be a lovely, calm Saturday, with a birthday party to go to, and a nice warm house to come home to. I love days like today, where you can sit back and relax. It seems like everything lately has been a hustle and bustle of business. I will be SO happy when Thanksgiving arrives this next week. Speaking of Thanksgiving and fall, here is a very autumnal outfit I wore just a few weeks ago for Church.
So, to explain the outfit. I actually wore this to a wedding the day before, and since I liked it so much, I decided to wear it to Church as well. I wanted to wear tights, but I couldn't just have some rust colored tights on the bottom, and no rust-colored-anything on top, so I added my favorite wool cardigan to the outfit. I wasn't sure of it at first, but it started looking nicer and nicer the more I thought of changing to something else, so I stuck with it. The shoes are my highest pair of heels, which I don't get to wear very often, so I took the liberty of wearing them with this outfit since they coordinated better than anything else. Oh, and a coat (this one is actually from... Costco... It's by Michael Kors) is always nice to have.
Dress: Me-made, S&S patterns' 1958 Party Dress // Sweater: Thrifted, Newton Trading Co.
Tights: F21 // Earrings: Hand me down from Jessica
Shoes: Thrifted, Nine West // Coat: Costco, Michael Kors
So, I was having a discussion with my family this morning around the subject of the word cute. Typically when I think of using the word cute, I think of babies, puppies, cute clothes, etc. But what we were discussing was the (rather tragic, in my opinion) use of the word to describe one's peers of the opposite sex. i.e. "that girl/guy is cute". Personally, I think using the word cute to describe any person, other than a baby, or perhaps a girl calling another girl cute on account of her outfit, is objectifying the person, and diminishing their person-hood. But I wanted to know what you all think! If you knew a guy said you were "cute" would you like that, or would you consider it as being offensive? On the other hand, would you call a guy "cute"? Would you describe that young man as being manly, if you also called him cute?
Would you call a guy cute?
Guys, (if you're reading this) would you consider it offensive if a girl called you cute?
Do you think calling a peer of the opposite sex "cute" diminishes their person-hood (i.e. femininity or masculinity)?
Blessings,
Brigid
the Middle Sister and Singer
CREDITS // Author: Brigid Boyer; Photography: Charlotte Boyer; Photos edited with VSCO Presets
Nice outfit Brigid!
ReplyDeleteI would definitely not call a man cute; I think most men would find handsome or good-looking much more flattering. When I think of a girl saying a guy is cute I think of a high schooler whispering it to her best friend about a crush...it seems very adolescent.
Haha - 'cute' for me is definately for - as you said - things like kittens and little babies and toddlers. I know Americans use 'cute' for other things too - but I'd never use it to describe guys - not that I think it diminishes their masculinity (it's like a cool way of saying 'handsome', right?) but just because I think it sounds weird.
ReplyDeleteLove the outfit, the color combo is lovely!
ReplyDeleteConsidering the only words ever used to describe me are cute and adorable, I've always been rather fond of those words and never felt that they diminished my person-hood at all. But I know a lot of girls who feel the same way you do, they hate being called those things!
I think cute is best used for people who are younger than you, but I don't necessarily think it's offensive. People tell me that I'm cute all the time and it doesn't bother me. Granted, these people are almost always women friends but I still take it as a compliment if my husband calls me cute.
ReplyDeleteI think cute definitely has an air of innocence about it. Other words like handsome have just an air of maturity about them that some people just don't have yet. In high school, my friends and I always referred to guys that we thought were attractive as cute. And, let's face it, most high school boys are not particularly manly. For me, manliness is not about physical fitness or feats of strength but about being mature and able to shoulder responsibility and accepting of the costs that come with doing the right thing. That kind of a man is more deserving of a word like handsome.
Another thing is that for me, as a married woman, cute is a word I can use to mean I can tell that the person I'm talking about is attractive but I am not attracted to him. It's a nice safe word that I can use to talk about my friends boyfriends, people I know at work etc. For me, handsome is definitely on another level of attractiveness, and I prefer to think that my husband is the only handsome man on the planet. (Although I do also call him cute on occasion when he is acting cute.)
Those are just my thoughts. :) If you feel more comfortable reserving cute for babies and small fluffy animals, do it.
I wouldn't say a guy was cute. I'd call him either handsome, or decent. Never attractive, hot, or cute. But then again, that's just me. People have different convictions. :)
ReplyDeleteThat is a great outfit! And those reds paired together were a stroke of brilliance. The thing I love about this outfit is how summery that dress was when you wore it in previous posts and how you've now changed it to a beautiful, late-fall ensemble.
ReplyDeleteAbout the term "cute". Hm...it's never struck me as being demeaning or dehumanizing, but maybe that's just me. I do think that calling the opposite sex, "cute" has been around for awhile (I just did some googling and, according to Dictionary.com, was first used the way you're talking about in 1838, but came into popularity in the 40s). I think it has come to have a separate definition from, "Aww...isn't that baby cute?" So, no, I wouldn't find the term offensive at all if a guy used it.
Anyway, fascinating question! I can't wait to hear what others think.
I have a guy friend who tells me when I look cute... not in an awkward way but in a complimentary way. Like, "Oh, that's a cute dress." Or, "You look really cute today." It never makes me uncomfortable. I do try to avoid calling boys cute because it just takes me to a place I'd rather not go.
ReplyDeleteHannah
What a darling autumnal colored outfit Brigid! :D
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting question! :) I used to be annoyed by people who called guys "cute" and always preferred the word "handsome" (I was probably mainly annoyed by the teenage-girl-ness). However, I have now come to think it just fits some people. As far as girls go, I think that depends on the individual girl too. I think it's okay as long as it's not meant in a demeaning way as to imply that someone looks like a baby.
It is interesting and sometimes sad how our language has changed so much though.
I more so use the word cute to describe the way someone acts or is like a sweet old lady or a funny kid, but I do use it to describe appearance too. Oh and that dress is really cute too!
ReplyDeleteI think being cute and being manly are certainly not mutually exclusive. Neither are being cute and being handsome. Usually, if I were to think of or refer to a man as cute, I would be referring to his demeanor, behaviors, or expressions rather than to his appearance. However, if I were to call a man cute in regards to his appearance, I would be using it as a way of acknowledging that his appearance is nice or he is handsome, but that I am not necessarily personally attracted to him. If a man is offended or feels emasculated by being called cute, I think he needs to humbly reflect on his view of what masculinity is or should be. I say this out of concern, not judgement.
ReplyDeleteHmm-that's an interesting question! I suppose I've never thought about it being insulting.
ReplyDeleteI DO have a problem with calling people "sexy" or "hot".
I think it's totally inappropriate. I do use "cute," but it's not intended in a demeaning, objectifying
way. Anyway!
Thanks for posting.
Natasha
A modest fashion blog: www.natashaatkerson.blogspot.com
LOVE your shoes and stockings Brigid! The whole outfit is just lovely. :)
ReplyDeleteI think 'cute' can have a very feminine connotation to it-- the definition from the Oxford Dictionary is "attractive in a pretty or endearing way". So I wouldn't call a grown man or a teenage guy cute (or what they're wearing). However, when someone describes a girl as 'cute' I think of someone who has a very sweet, kind and feminine personality. I don't mind guys calling girls 'cute' to describe their personality, or using it to describe their clothing (i.e- "that's a cute dress").
Lovely outfit! I'm in love with cardigans (it's a most practical piece of clothing). I personally like the word cute and would find it a compliment to be called it. For instance, there are other words that you could use that would be far worse with objectifying. Second of all, I find the word cute more platonic than saying beautiful, pretty, or good-looking (coming from the opposite sex). Some girls don't like the word cute because they want to be "hot" or "sexy" instead of cute but I would much rather have a cute kind of beauty, I find it's rather innocent and sweet, which is what I want at my age. :)
ReplyDeleteI call guys 'cute' and they call me 'cute' when they feel like it.
ReplyDeleteBrigid, I love this outfit! I was going to try something inspired by it to go to school today but unfortunately I was in bed sick. I'll have to give it another shot tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI love that you brought up the issue of the word "cute." I'm majoring in linguistics, so the way we use words and what we actually mean by them is of high fascination to me. Personally, I think using the word "cute" now to describe grown-up people, their outfits, or behaviors is ultimately innocent -- because generally when I use and hear it, what I mean is "attractive," "happy," "well-put-together".
Nevertheless, examining why we use certain words, and their histories and implications, is so important for sensitivity to how we treat one another. Ultimately, the semantics of "cute" also are related to things that might represent something less than the respect you want to show someone -- not that there's anything wrong with "cute" things of the other sense, like babies, animals, kids' books, etc., but if you're going for language that shows a great amount of respect for someone, there are lots of other words to use.
Similarly, what do you think of the use of the word "girl" to speak about young ladies (or even women)? My Dad asked me about that one time -- he asked me if it ever offends me, a twenty-something, to be called a "girl" -- and I told him no, that it doesn't, because people don't usually mean to be diminutive when they use that word, even if semantically it is the word for a female child, and I'm 23. But then someone in public referred to me as a "woman" and I felt very respected and happy! What do you think about this?
Thank you so much for your insight Kira! I use the word cute, myself, to mean the same as you have stated. My main issue in this blog post was to question how we use the word cute, and if it's right to use it on guys (I personally have a hard time using the word cute on a guy. It's just a bit weird for me. I'm completely fine with using it with girls.)
DeleteAs for being called a girl, I don't mind. Perhaps when I'm 30-something I will mind, but not now. ;) I do feel like I'm respected when someone calls me a young woman or young lady, and really appreciate it when people use such terms to address or describe me. It's so interesting, the history of words, and how people use them.
Blessings,
Brigid
the Middle Sister and Singer
That's pretty much how I feel -- I've used "cute" on my fiancé before but he always gives me a quizzical look like he can't figure out why, of all words, I'd choose that one -- so, for addressing him, I've definitely tried to cut it out. :) Thanks for your reply and your lovely post!
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